Former APFA Board member Terrence Paul fondly recalls the role his mother is currently playing in raising two of her grandchildren and keeping them out of government care. Paul, who experienced the residential school system, believes grandmothers are a vital key in keeping Aboriginal children healthy and safe. - Dan Odenbach photo

Grandmothers
Following a brainstorming session, it became abundantly clear the important role Aboriginal grandmothers play as the 'glue' which keeps their communities together. It hits close to home for APFA Interim Board member Terrence Paul who is witnessing the role his mother is playing in raising two of her grandchildren. Along with his seven siblings, Paul experienced residential school at St. Joseph's Mission in Williams Lake.

"The (government) controlled the children, contrary to our culture. It affected my family. Family members retreated to alcohol and substance abuse when they lost control over their children," said Paul who attended residential school for four years. "After residential school, grandparents realized what happened to them and returned to take care of the children."

"My mom is raising two children out of our family and you never seen two kids more happy."

Paul's mother attended residential school for three years. Within the Aboriginal community, grandmothers are traditionally looked to for supplying support for their families. In general terms, Aboriginal women are closer to 30-years-old than 50-years-old when they become grandparents.

"It's not unusual to be a grandmother at 30," said an APFA board member Gwen Phillips. "It's a time when many (non-Aboriginal) women are just starting to think about having children."

With most Aboriginal grandmothers, the lure of alcohol or substance abuse does not have the same appeal it does to younger members within their communities. They are therefore much better equipped to be responsible and a cornerstone within the family structure.

Former Cariboo facilitator Steve Hilbert says many grandparents have come full circle. "The grandmothers are leading the healing. When I'm at meetings, I hear stuff like, 'I have eight grandchildren who have never seen me drunk.'

"When they were younger, they didn't have the parenting skills. Now, they have the skills to help their grandchildren and are willing to turn it around," added Hilbert. APFA Policy Analyst Jim MacArthur, who formerly served as the Okanagan facilitator, appreciates any feedback Aboriginal communities have on the role grandmothers play.

"The Accord is focusing on the roles and responsibilities of communities. This includes acknowledging the traditional roles of grandmothers, grandfathers and extended family." said MacArthur.

The APFA's service plan is an opportunity for Aboriginal communities to bring forward ideas in which grandparents can be supported to fulfill their roles. Paul gave the following reasons why grandmothers need to be respected and supported in this role.

• Grandmothers build communities and strengthen communities.
• Grandmothers stabilize the future of their children, grandchildren.
• Children and their families obtain strength from grandmothers.
• Grandmothers are an excellent source of providing cultural identity.
• Historical values are often passed through grandmothers.
• In general terms, grandmothers understand the community best.
• Relevant cultural components to child safety and welfare are best described by grandmothers.
• Grandmothers are often the individuals who assume responsibility for children within their communities.

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